Golf Jokes
(John Powell)
A gushy reporter told Phil Michelson,
'You are spectacular, your name is synonymous with the
game of golf.
You really know your way around the course.What's your
secret?'
Michelson replied, 'The holes are numbered'
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A young man and a priest are playing
together.At a short par-3 the priest asks, 'What
are you going to use on this hole my son? '
The young
man says, 'An 8-iron, father. How about you?'
The priest
says, 'I'm going to hit a soft seven and pray. '
The
young man hits his 8-iron and puts the ball on the
green.
The priest tops his 7-iron and dribbles the ball
out a few yards.
The young man says, 'I don't know about
you father,
but in my church when we pray, we keep our
head down.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Police are called to an apartment and
find a woman holding a bloody 5-iron standing over a
lifeless man.
The detective asks, 'Ma'am, is that your
husband?'
'Yes' says the woman.
'Did you hit him with that golf club?
'Yes, yes, I did.' The woman begins to
sob, drops the club, and puts her hands on her face.
'How many times did you hit him?'
'I
don't know, five, six, maybe seven times.....just put me
down for a five.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A golfer teed up his ball on the first
tee, took a mighty swing and hit his ball into a clump
of trees. He found his ball and saw an opening between
two trees he thought he could hit through.
Taking out his 3-wood, he took another
mighty swing; the ball hit a tree, bounced back, hit him
in the forehead and killed him.
As he approached the gates of Heaven,
St. Peter saw him coming
and asked, 'Are you a good
golfer'?
The man replied: 'Got here in two,
didn't I?'
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The bride came down the aisle and when
she reached the altar, the groom was standing there with
his golf bag and clubs at his side.
She said:' What are your golf clubs
doing here'?
He looked her right in the eye and said,
'This isn't going to take all day, is it?' |